Finally held!!!

 
 

Friday pm

Been doing very well indeed. We have both held him now, and that was sweet. A little scary, even for me despite my experience with babies WAY smaller than him.

He is off supplemental oxygen now, although still getting some flow of room air, which will be weaned down quickly. Respiratory rate a little better, still not quite consistently low enough to feed by mouth. He has finished a full 7 days of antibiotics, and since it appears he has responded well, the plan is to stop them, and then repeat all of his labs and xray on Monday to see if he gets worse while off them. If eveything looks good then and off any flow, its just a matter of feeding, and then HOME!!!!

Thursday pm

Very good day. Sarah got to hold him tonight for the first time!!! He was quite hungry and awake, and she had him for 15 minutes. Then, he got to go back to his Pyrex box. Great though. Lord willing, I (Casey) will get the pleasure tomorrow.

Collage

 

Left click on the image to see it all enlarged. Mom, if you then right-click on the image and choose "Set as Desktop", it will then become your computer monitor background. Hopefully these will all be replaced with pictures at our home within a short time.

 

Thursday am

Continued slow improvement, just like we want to see. Respiratory rate slowly coming down ( although still too fast to coordinate eating), and I watched him do pretty well without oxygen for several minutes this morning after he knocked out his cannula. We think by tomorrow we will be able to take him out of the isolette and hold him. We are praying now that his IV will continue to stay in place, as he only has about 1 more day of antibiotics left and if it comes out, it would be quite difficult for Joshua to get him the medicine he needs.

We remain in awe of how God is working here, and see the purpose in it (singular, as in all of life), as we were taught in the story of Lazarus in John 11, "This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it"

Wednesday pm

Joshua is doing well. He was switched to the regular oxygen today from the special CPAP, which is great progress, although as a result his respiratory rate has gone up again (as somewhat expected). Therefore, still not able to try feeding or be held, but we are still pleased with this event, and reap the Lord's blessing on all of this. He opened his eyes for a long time today and looked at us (well, that blank mostly blind stare that all newborn's have), which was sweet to see. We can finally get a decent look at his face. Still have no idea who he looks like, but unique is good if it means not looking like Dad, but bad if not looking like Sweet Mommy.

Thanks for your many prayers. We see the answers every day.

Wednesday am

Joshua doing well this am. Respiratory rate a little higher than last night, but oxygen level is great. I suspect he might be converted to a standard oxygen cannula today. He is up to 1.5 oz each feed, and so probably won't need IV nutrition any longer. Thanks for prayers.

"Woe to him who says to a wooden thing, Awake; to a silent stone, Arise!
Can this teach?
Behold, it is overlaid with gold and silver, and there is no breath at all in it.
But the Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before him"
Habakkuk 2:20
We trust in the Lord, not in all the means and product of man (i.e. NICU's, oxygen, food, medical staff, etc...)

Tuesday pm

Best day yet...oxygen requirement and CPAP pressure down, as well as respiratory rate. He looks peaceful, breathing like a normal newborn now (albeit with a big honking cannula pushing up his nose). He likes to open his left eye, sometimes wide, but can't get him to desire to get both eyes open. Now, when he looks up, he sees a picture of his family posted on the incubator, and we have some sweet verses posted on it as well, hopefully a blessing to him and a witness to the NICU. You know, I've prayed for 2 years now that my kids would grow up to be pastors or missionaries, and it seems that Joshua has gotten the jump on Daniel here. Very sweet!

Tuesday am

Joshua has done well overnight. Tolerating more feeds. We're going to see him now.

"I find it most true, that the greatest temptation out of hell is to live without temptations. If my waters would stand, they would rot. Faith is the better for the free air and the sharp winter-storm in its face. Grace withereth without adversity. The devil is but God's master-fencer, to teach us to handle our weapons."
-Samuel Rutherford, 1637

Update Monday eve

Joshua continued to have a good day today, and has had his feeds increased and is doing well with them so far. Very encouraging news from a long conversation with today's neonatologist (they work in 24 hr shifts so its a different doctor everyday, 5 total in the group) regarding expected progression for the next few days, and also that he expects no long term consequences (such as asthma) as a result of this infection. However, we trust God, not man, so we wait eagerly for the revealing...

Thanks for praying. We are spending time this evening with our friends the Bells, who are in labor with their first child right down the hall from Joshua, and begging God to spare them this trial that we've been given (although again, we wait eagerly for the results that will come from this, and I sorely need a good dose of increased faith, patience, selflessness, and prayer-discipline).

Update

Joshua had a very good night. He is digesting all of his food and probably will have his feeding amounts increased today. Oxygen requirement is down (it is quite variable, both minute to minute and day by day). Waiting on lab and xray results. We are recognizing more and more the blessings and lessons inherent in this, from living close by and having (hopefully) good health insurance, to seeing the outstanding medical care he is receiving at Baptist (the competitor from my residency days), to increasing of faith and prayer life. Sarah is feeling pretty well, and has even picked Daniel up some and felt ok (against doctors orders). Hard to help it though, he is just so cute (unrivaled cutest kid ever until Joshua was born and is giving him a run for his money). Keep praying. Thanks.

Update

Sarah just came back from visiting Joshua tonight with her mom and sister, while I watched Daniel. Joshua seems to be doing better right now, with a decreased oxygen requirement, although it had gotten worse from last night through this afternoon. He has learned to enjoy his new pacifier, which we delight in giving him. Sarah was able to hold him (just above his bed) while the nurse changed the linen.

We were able to go enjoy being in the house of the Lord for part of the evening service. Although I can't remember any of the sermon, it was sweet knowing that He was there where more than two were gathered in His name. We both remain faithful, at peace, and do not have anxiety, although the pain is very real (as we see Joshua's distress), and tears are frequently close to our eyes. We are comforted by the Word, and me personally by the writings of Samuel Rutherford, a Puritan Scot from the 1600's who knew a few things about trials.

"Your sun shall no more go down, nor your moon withdraw itself; for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of mourning shall be ended.
Your people shall all be righteous; they shall possess the land forever, the branch of my planting, the work of my hands, that I might be glorified.
The least one shall become a clan, and the smallest one a mighty nation; I am the Lord; in its time I will hasten it.
Isaiah 60:20-22

On the way home

Sarah expects to be discharged this morning, and is in excellent condition considering the last 2 days. We look forward heartily to seeing Daniel. We miss the little guy, and have been reminding each other of his little quirks, sayings, actions, etc.


Joshua had a rough night. His oxygen requirement is up and he is breathing faster. The neonatologist has a couple of plans to try to help improve things. We continue to wait and trust God. That's pretty much all we can do at this point. We'll be back frequently though. It is a great blessing that we only live about 5 miles away. Please continue to pray.

You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many. (2 Corinthians 1:11)

Better times

 
 
 

Don't let the tubes and wires upset you. Just routine stuff really. Oxygen and airflow through nasal prongs, a gastric tube for feeding (since it isn't safe to feed by mouth when breathing that hard), and cardiac/temperature/oxygen level monitors.

In the NICU at noon

He was much happier after getting something to eat. When calm, he breathes much better. Thus, food is the answer....Hmmm, I've been right along these many years!!?!? Too bad nobody believed me.

Update

Joshua was stable overnight, no signficant change either direction. His repeat chest xray confirmed that he has pneumonia. Therefore, we are almost certainly looking at at least 7 days here on antibiotics, regardless of whether he improves quickly or not. We're still waiting for his respiratory status to improve, as he continues on oxygen and CPAP. He is being fed via a tube inserted from his mouth to stomach, combination of formula and breast milk, plus IV fluids. Probably the bacterial infection set in while still in the womb from the normal flora that is in every womb, and once he came out and started breathing on his own, the pneumonia had a chance to get worse.
We still wait and pray, and trust the Lord. Thanks to Him for some rest for both of us last night. It had been an extremely rough night and day. Thanks also that everything post-partum for Sarah has been fine, and her pain has been very manageable. She is being an outstanding trooper, despite the disappointment of not being able to hold your newborn in your arms. We are able to sit by his side and touch him in his incubator as much as we want, which is a great blessing as well.
We continue to request and covets your prayers. We trust His promises in Romans 8 and 2 Chronicles 16, and believe Him to be working this for His glory.

Update

It's been a trying day, but the Lord is faithful in all. As I mentioned in the last post, Joshua had and continues to have difficulty breathing, with low oxygen levels and increased effort. Therefore, he was transferred to the Neonatal ICU today for further care. He is now on a device called CPAP which basically helps blow oxygen into his nose a little more forcefully and thus expanding the lungs and helping decrease the effort he's having to put into breathing. He has also been started on antibiotics basically "in case" he has an infection like pneumonia, which is questionable at this point. He will hopefully start getting some feedings tonight if his respiratory status remains stable. It seems like he may end up being here for several days.
Regardless, we are having a trial, which we count as joy, knowing that the testing of our faith produces steadfastness, and eventually perfecting and sanctifying all of us (James 1:3-4). We believe God will answer our prayers, and those uttered on our behalf (...and pray for one another, that you may be healed. the prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. James 5:16). He is faithful, and will surely do it, for His glory.

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

sorry, technical difficulties

For the moment, I'm not able to upload pictures. Sorry.   Joshua has moved over to the ICU. Nothing too much has changed, for better or worse.

Transitioning

Joshua was born this morning at 0902 after 10 hrs of labor. It had a few challenges, including the anesthesiologist bopping Sarah in the head with an IV pole, but overall went well through birth. I informed Sarah that we had a new baby boy, and she was able to hold him. He has dark hair, and is MUCH bigger than we expected. He looks nothing like Daniel or either of us that we can tell yet. Thank the Lord, he has no crooked features like Daniel did at birth.
We have had a bigger challenge though, and we welcome your prayers. Joshua began having a little trouble breathing soon after birth, and he is in the incubator requiring a little oxygen right now, 3 hrs later. We think it probably is just extra fluid in the lungs, which 37week babies are prone to, and is usually a very temporary condition. However, he is being watched closely, and may require transfer to the NICU soon. We have peace and no anxiety about this (Philippians 4:6-7), and we trust God to be glorified whatever the outcome. Thank you for lifting us up.

Birth!

Joshua Michael McMillan
7 lbs even, 20 inches

Waiting with great expectation

This is the first of hopefully several posts from Baptist Hosptal. We are in labor!!! Sarah is doing well so far. Expect a few more hours yet. All the relatives on the way. Pics to come. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full (Ps 127)

Flying at the pool party
Baptism
Loving the first haircut
Super Daniel!

Happy 4th!

We're celebrating our country's birth today. Gonna have a few folks over to enjoy the pool and blueberries at Sarah's parents home. Things have been well. Mostly just nesting, getting those dozens of myriad things ready to prepare for the baby. Much work has gone into turning Gus's room (previous roommate) into Daniel's new room. Looking very cute currently. Peace.